I swear, you get absolutely fucking hammer-wasted on one company outing and now you can’t be trusted to ride your bike home 8 blocks.
Let me explain a little more in-depth. Each quarter since I’ve worked at the good ole fuck show we have had record breaking quarters(hmm, I wonder why). Anyway, Each time we make more money than we (and when I say we I mean the president, because I get paid in peanuts) can stuff in our pockets, we get to go out to dinner. The first time I went, it was a boat cruize on Lake Minnetonka. What is there to do on a boat full of people you don’t want to talk to? Drink, and drink like you’re not going to make it. Well ever since then I haven’t gotten into the sauce on these outings. Last time we went to some shitty ass Japaneese restruant and had 2 beers and left. This time I was even better, hell I didn’t even want to be there. It’s one thing to get along with the people you work with, but to watch them stick their tounge up the bosses ass on their own time, fuck I don’t need to deal with that. But who can turn down a free steak. Anyway, just like high school all over again, everyone sat themselves at their own respectively clicky table. 3 tables= 1 of ass kissers, 1 table of all the girls, and one left over table for the art department, screen-printing and warehouse guys – plus B-RAD. Guess where I was, and guess out of how many people there I wanted to talk to, 2 people. I don’t want to hear about whitetrash weddings, or drug-dealing parents. All I want is a couple of Gin & Tonics and a steak. Our table got cut-off from mixed drinks the second we sat down. This didn’t sit well with T Bear (screen printing manager for 7 years). The rest of the night was dedicated to bitching about work and workers, the one thing that you’d hope you would get away from at an “after hours” social. But what ever. That’s just the reason I didn’t want to go, I can’t hear anything out of anybody that I work with that isn’t, “Fuck this person, or fuck this thing, or fuck Ron(the president. He is a dick, but shit deal with it, or get a new job). Anyway to wrap things up The 2 peeps and I left as soon as we could and went down stairs to have a drink, and (for me at least, try to shake off the funk I just experienced). As I was leaving, I said my thank-yous to the El Presidente’ and I got, “Alright, ride home safe now.” and from my boss “Alright, good night(first thing he said to me all night). FUCK ALL OF YOU and your pretentious asses. Quoting the drunk that drinks Jack Daniels in “The Rules of Attraction,” FUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOUUUUUUUU!!
NO FREE LUNCH